Not An Influencer

I’ve begun unfriending people on Facebook.

It’s not that I desire to be unfriendly, but I’ve decided that in the coming weeks I’m going to gradually whittle away the people I’m friends with in anticipation of finally eliminating my account completely.

I can’t say it is an easy process.

I joined in 2008, and to give up on something after a decade isn’t easy in and of itself.  And of course everything about social media is oriented towards gaining friends and followers, not eliminating them.  And for years I thought that an expanding number of friends on Facebook (even a meager number by many standards!) was a sign of my role of influence and importance to these people.  But I’m no social media influencer by a long shot.  (In case you’re not aware, influencer is the term some people use of themselves and others because of a particularly large number of social media contacts and corresponding leverage for advertising or activism).  Social media functions by playing on our needs and desires for approval and status, things I’ve fought against all my life but sometimes not very successfully.

Going through my list of friends I’ve begun be eliminating those whose accounts are inactive – a sign that they’ve already gone down the road I’m starting on and are farther along than I am.  It’s also a demonstration that the connections created by social media are hardly very strong – I  didn’t even realize that half a dozen or so of my friends have deactivated their accounts.

The second group I’ve begun eliminating are connections from high school.  I’ll save the friends I was closest to till the end, but the reality is that the connection we had once has severely decayed over time.  I haven’t seen most of them in close to ten years.  One or two I’ve seen more recently, but our connection – if it’s going to remain – won’t be because of Facebook.

I’m amazed and depressed by how difficult clicking Unfriend can be.  Our desire for approval and acceptance and admiration (or is it just my desire) is strong, and admitting that those things – if they’re there at all – are so weak and insignificant as to be of truly no meaning is not easy or pleasant.  It’s getting easier though, and now that I’ve begun the process I don’t think it will be as complicated as I thought to complete it.

It just makes me wonder where I’ll look for affirmation and approval next.  Hopefully more in Christ, and less in myself and others.  I don’t say that as a word of judgment against those of you who continue on Facebook or other social media.  But  rather as a word of judgment on myself.  And maybe only a word of caution to others.

 

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