Till Death Do Us Part – Seriously

I would vote for this (if properly worded).  Would you?

I first heard about this from a friend of mine who is irritated that California’s Proposition 8 passed, limiting marriage in the state of California to one man and one woman.  For a variety of reasons we haven’t fully explored yet, she thinks that any adult ought to be able to marry any other adult, so she was publicizing this initiative.

The funny thing is, I probably would be more supportive of it than she is, in actuality. 

While the guy is doing this mostly for laughs and as a form of protest against Proposition 8, it makes a variety of interesting statements.

First off, it points out just how disposable marriage is in the eyes of many people, when the idea of cementing it’s permanency is considered outlandish or laughable.

Secondly, it points out the hypocrisy of a culture that wants to argue for the sanctity of marriage against one form of threat (broadening the legal definition of marriage to include homosexual relationships) against the institution, but not against another (the ease and frequency of divorce).  Christians are often found to be loudly defending the ramparts against the first threat, while quietly leaving the drawbridge down and undefended on the second front. 

I think it would do marriage a great deal of good if people realized that they were going to be committed to it for life – without recourse (I would argue that the Biblical grounds of abandonment or adultery should continue to be legitimate grounds for divorce).  Maybe people would take it a tad more seriously.  Maybe people would be more inclined to make sure they were getting lots of good input from friends and family, rather than seeing it as largely a personal decision.  Maybe marriage would take on greater significance than simply an emotional reaction or impulse. 

Most likely, we’d simply see marriage rates plummet as more people decided to just live together rather than take a chance having to actually live out their vows with someone.

6 Responses to “Till Death Do Us Part – Seriously”

  1. Melani Says:

    I think people need to get married BEFORE living together and BEFORE having children. But this is not always the case. I admit that I lived with my X husband before getting married. (hence probably why he is my X, LOL and my parents were beyond pissed…) and I indeed got pregnant before our actual wedding took place…so that being said I am not the best role model for my children and they know how I did things. BUT I tell them that things might have turned out different had I not just lived with him without being married. So, even though I did things WRONG (according to myself) I still try to instill how to do it CORRECTLY to my children. I moved out of my parents house for all the wrong reasons, I wanted out simply, not necessarily to live with my boyfriend, it just happened that way….poor very poor. I will stop now.

  2. Paul Nelson Says:

    Thanks for sharing, Melani.  I speak as someone who has also gone through a divorce.  I was thinking the other day that my goal with this blog is to write as best I can from a Biblical Christian’s perspective.  I worry at times that people may construe it as a holier-than-thou sort of thing, as though I’m writing from the moral high ground.  I am writing from moral high ground (at least I pray to be!), but not my own.  I write how I see and hear historical Biblical Christianity speaking to issues in this day and time and place.  At the same time, I don’t ever profess to be a role model.  The lesson in Scripture though is that God uses broken people for amazing things.  Abraham the idol worshipper.  Jacob the schemer and liar.  Moses the murderer.  David the adulterer and murderer.  Nobody perfect.  All flawed in many ways.  Yet we see the grace of God around the edges of those flaws.  We see how these people couldn’t possibly be held up as special or holy for anything that they themselves did, but only for what God did through and in spite of them.  Like Paul, I’m not advocating that we sin more so that God’s grace may increase.  But sometimes God can be heard more loudly speaking through people who know they are not perfect, and harbor no illusions about their own wisdom.  Your advice is very good, very Biblical, and very pertinent.  It’s not simply your opinion about how things ought to be, it’s Scriptural as well, and so it’s not surprising that you see how things should have been done differently.  Hopefully you can look back on earlier situations (as I do!) with an acceptance of God’s forgiveness and marveling at how He can still bless us so richly despite our flaws!

  3. Melani Says:

    Thanks for sharing! I know no one is perfect and we all have our flaws, so to speak, but I think it is important to learn from our flaws, and move on. I try to anyways, and sometimes I am more hard on myself then God ever would be about forgiving myself. But that is another post entirly!

  4. Paul Nelson Says:

    It’s often easier to believe that God can and does forgive us, than it is for us to forgive ourselves!

  5. Dianne Says:

    If properly worded, I would agree with this. Having been married to the same guy for 44 years,there were times when I was ready to walk away and I’m sure my husband feels the same way. This being stated, the fact that we were married in the house of God and our marriage was sanctified by him, we always felt our vows were not only between us but a “contract” between the three of us. In today’s world, it’s just too easy to get rid of what isn’t “easy” and move on.

  6. Paul Nelson Says:

    That’s so important – seeing it as more than just something between the two of you.  And definitely the expectation seems to be now-adays that if it no longer feels like you want it to feel, you’re justified in ending it.  Of course, that can begin a difficult and dangerous cycle.  How much more quickly will someone want out of the next relationship, if they *suspect* that it’s beginning to be less than what they’d like it to be?Congratulations on 44 years!  God is good!

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